FEELING EVERYTHING, FIXING NOTHING – WHEN BEING AN EMPATH BECOMES A PROBLEM

The Emotional Crisis of Everyday Decisions when you're an Empath.

When leaving your dog home alone becomes a guilt trip

Husband: “Babe, let’s go out for dinner.”

Me: “Uhhh, let’s wait until (daughter) gets home.”

Husband: “Why?”

Me: “Because I don’t want to leave the dog home on his own.”

Husband: “For f*ck’s sake!”

If this sounds ridiculous to you, congrats — you’re probably a normal person. But if you’re nodding along, thinking yep, this is me! — welcome to the hopeless empath club, where even basic decisions come with an emotional crisis.

I wish I could say this level of overthinking only applies to my dog, but let me be honest — I could write an entire novel on the guilt, anxiety, and the emotional turmoil involved in simply existing as someone who feels way too much.

Don’t even get me started on leaving the dog when we head overseas. The stress alone is enough to make me question whether travel is even worth it.

Feeling Everything — Is That Being an Empath?

Honestly, it’s not just the dog.

I can’t watch movies where kids get hurt. I turn the TV off when anything racist, unjust, or cruel comes on. Caged animals? War footage? Schoolyard fights? Climate disasters? Plane crashes? Forget it. And don’t even mention the dog dying in a movie — who the hell thought that would be a good storyline?!

So, is this what being an empath is? Or is it just part of being a deeply caring human? Because if that’s the case, shouldn’t half the planet be calling themselves empaths? Maybe. But if that’s true, why does it sometimes feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world while everyone else is just… fine?

When Caring Becomes a Heavy Burden

I look at my daughter — who takes empathy to a whole new level. She’s a passionate socialist, fiercely vocal about the war in Palestine, the Ukraine and the unjust slaughter of innocent people. And for the love of god, DO NOT mention Donald Trump in her presence unless you want a full-blown political blow-out over dinner.

She takes on the weight of these global issues with fire and intensity, and while I admire her drive, I sometimes find myself thinking, Is all this angst really worth her worry?

This makes me wonder — does questioning this make me less empathetic? Am I cold-hearted for believing that some things are simply out of our control? Or is it just self-preservation? Because if I let myself dwell on it all, I know I’ll spiral — overwhelmed, exhausted, and carrying burdens I have no power to change.

The ‘Empath’ Label — Overhyped or Justified?

Everywhere I turn in the world of spirituality, I hear the word empath. And honestly? It’s starting to feel like one of those trendy words that make people feel like they’ve unlocked some elite membership to the woo-woo club.

I call bullshit on the idea that you need to be some enlightened cosmic guru to fit into the so-called “spiritual” crowd with all its special terminologies and formalities. Being an empath is just one trait — it’s not some golden ticket to spiritual superiority.

So what actually is an empath? What’s the real definition? And as someone who leans into the spiritual world, am I one?

According to Wikipedia:

“Empaths are people who are extremely attuned to the feelings and emotions of others. Empathy is an essential skill for all kinds of relationships. However, people with very high levels of it may have a hard time setting boundaries between themselves and others.”

Ok, there it is — boundaries. So that’s the difference between being an empath and simply having empathy? Because, in my opinion, every part of the definition sounds like simply being a decent human being.

Empath or Just a Good Human? Let’s Test It.

Ok, lets!. If being an empath means possessing certain traits, let’s see how I measure up:

Empathy — the ability to understand other people’s feelings — right-o.

Sensitivity — high empaths tend to be unguarded with their emotions — yeah, nah, not me.

Overwhelming feelings of intimacy — F*ck that! And honestly, what does intimacy have to do with being an empath anyway?

Good intuition — Yes, I’ve found one. Score for me.

Truthfulness — You have little patience for those who are dishonest — two down, whoop whoop.

Needing time to recharge — Oh, yep. Love me some isolation.

Difficulties setting boundaries — Nope! I have zero issues with telling someone to sod off when they overstep the boundaries.

So that makes me 3 out of 7 — it doesn’t sound like I’m an empath, right?

Well, guess what? Who the bloody hell cares?

Here’s the thing: I know I’m an empathetic person — swearing and all — and no self-proclaimed spiritual gatekeeper is going to tell me otherwise.

The Truth About Empathy and What Really Matters

At the end of the day, I believe in doing the right thing, being a decent human, spreading love and kindness, helping when and where I can, and contributing to the world in ways that actually matter. But I’m also a realist with a deeply tuned-in spiritual side.

Here’s what I believe: You don’t need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders to prove you’re a caring person. Whether you call it empathy, being an empath, or just plain kindness — that is what truly matters.

We are all in this together, each of us contributing in our own way to the collective of humanity. Every person, every living creature, and this beautiful, big blue planet are all part of the same force. We are all connected people!.

So, do your best to be kind, to be aware, and to help where you can — but don’t mistake suffering for caring. You don’t have to drown in the world’s pain to make a difference. Show up, love deeply, and trust that even the smallest ripple of kindness can spread across the planet.

“Empathy schmempathy.” Just be a good human, people.

Dana x

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